Wife as the "Bread Winner"

20:54 Handini Audita 0 Comments

Yesterday as I was shopping in one of Jogjakarta shopping mall, I went by the magazine section and decided to buy the Marie Claire October 2012 edition. One of the articles in that magazine discusses the issue of women in a marriage relationship that by opportunities gained higher salary that the man (husband). This article is very interesting to me because with the enhancement of today's generation, woman are able to compete equally with man in any field of work. There is no more burden that makes women unable to compete with man in their work life.

In the Indonesia culture, there is a strong perception that man (husband) should be the head of a family that is responsible for the financing of the family, while woman (wife) is responsible for the management of the family. Because that culture has strongly embed in the Indonesian society, it becomes a taboo situation when the man (husband) receives lower salary than the women (wife).

In some situation, when the wife have higher salary and position, it creates a very stressful situation for the husband. This is because the husband felt that there are under a threat because their role as the head of the family becomes threatened. Sometimes, the personality of the husband tend to change in a negative degree (example from being loving to hurtful) because of the stress they burden. In fact, many people said that a family that positions the wife as the main "bread hunter" will create a potential of conflicts, especially on the financial issues.

So on the article written on Marie Claire, I learned several actions that will enable the minimization of conflicting situations when the wife has higher salary that the husband.

First, even though the wife salary is higher than the husband salary, make sure that the husband is still the main "bread winner". This means that the responsibility of the marriage expenses (example the children school tuition, daily expenses) is still being the husband responsibility. If in some situation, the husband cannot manage to be responsible for the expenses, then there should be a discussion first before the wife take a step to help. In this way, the husband will feel honored and respected. Then, they should also be able to manage an equal lifestyle. Its is also very important to discuss everything with the partner including the sensitive issue of "financing". Last but not least, is respect. If you want to be respected by your partner, you first have to respect your partner.

So for all the women out there in the world who have the ability to have higher income than their husband, be proud! But, never forget to respect your partner. Always remember that your relationship worth more than any money in the world. So do not let money destroy the joy of the relationship.

With love,